


Broken Love and Betrayal Abound

by BlainexKurtxLovex



Series: Broken and Betrayed [1]
Category: Code Geass
Genre: Anger, Brainwashing, Drama, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roller Coaster, F/M, Hatred, Psychological Drama, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-01 08:57:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13994880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlainexKurtxLovex/pseuds/BlainexKurtxLovex
Summary: Lulu had done what was necessary to start the Rebellion. She became Zero for the single purpose of protecting her sister and her boyfriend, Suzaku Kururugi. But on Kamine Island she is exposed just before reaching her sister. What is she going to do now? What is Suzaku going to do now? Suzaku X femLelouch.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing. Code Geass belongs to the author. Lelouch and Suzaku belong to their creator. I just wanted to take the liberty of stating that. I also want to point out that I don't usually, as a rule, change the gender of a character. For some reason, I felt this scene would be a little more interesting if Lelouch was a girl. I hope you enjoy! More chapters to come soon.  
> ~BlainexKurtxLovex

Nunnally had been kidnapped and taken to Kamine Island by V.V. and Lulu was going to get her back. There had been a trap at the entrance, but she couldn’t be sure if it had been for her or C.C. Either way, it didn’t matter to her. She needed to make sure her sister was safe. As she reached the large stone doors with the Geass symbol on them and rested her hands on the stone to push the doors open a bullet hit to her right. The one voice she had been hoping never to hear at a time like this spoke.

“Turn around slowly and face me, Zero,” Suzaku Kururugi demanded. His voice was calm, neutral even and Lulu froze where she was. Lulu cursed silently to herself. What was he doing here? “Did you not hear me, Zero? Turn around, slowly.”

As Lulu turned she noticed that Suzaku was wearing his Knight pin from Euphemia. Lulu needed to find a way to diffuse the situation before Suzaku thought about shooting her. She didn’t doubt that her beloved would take out his pain on the “man” he thought behind the mask. Lulu had known since she had killed Euphie that Suzaku would never forgive her.

“Princess Euphemia killed innocent Japanese people in cold blood and you point your gun at me, Kururugi? You would follow someone who…”

“Geass must be a convenience for someone like you,” Suzaku cut her off. “A coward who can sit on the sidelines and out of the way as those he commands to fight his battle for him. An arrogant coward who hides in shadows and lays blame on innocents.”

Lulu was shocked. How had Suzaku learned about Geass? She hadn’t told him and no one else knew except for C.C., but she had been the one to give it to her. Hell, she was pretty positive that her father, Charles li Britannia, also had a Geass. There was no other way he could do what he had to Lulu and Nunnally if he hadn't .

“Kallen!” Suzaku yelled. Lulu flicked her gaze to her Knight who was standing with a gun pointed at Suzaku. “Wouldn’t you like to know who hides behind the mask? Wouldn’t you like to know who has been using you and the others?”

The pink-haired girl sputtered for a moment before replying, “Why does it matter…NO!”

Suzaku raised his gun and shot at Lulu. Lulu didn’t move as she felt the slight impact and her mask began to split. There was no reason to run. She just needed to reason with Suzaku and make him see that they could do anything. They could save her sister and end her father’s reign.

The mask fell away and she was revealed to both Kallen and Suzaku. Kallen seemed on the verge of tears and Suzaku looked disgusted. However, he didn’t look too surprised by the development. It was like he had known from the very beginning that she had been Zero.

“You…you used us! You used the Japanese people too…You used _me_ …”

“Since the Japanese people will be freed from the Emperor’s reign with this rebellion you should not be complaining, Kallen,” Lulu responded coldly. Kallen shut up, but Lulu could see the betrayal in her eyes. Lulu had never meant to deceive her, but she had to do what was necessary to keep her sister safe. That was her top priority.

“So, yes, to state the obvious, I am Zero. I am the one who challenges Britannia and controls the Black Knights. I am the one who has led rebellion after rebellion and has dented Britannia’s hold on the Japanese people.”

Suzaku shook his head at her. “I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t want to believe that Zero was _you_.”

“So you suspected then, Suzaku?” Lulu inquired.

“I wasn’t sure so I was able to still love you and deny that you could have had any part in this madness. I wanted to believe in you, Lulu…I should have arrested you sooner. So much bloodshed could have been avoided.”

“Bloodshed would have happened with or without my helping hand, Suzaku,” Lulu rebuked.

“But you have been lying to everyone! You lied to me, to Euphie, and to Nunnally!”

“If we are being honest, Suzaku, Euphie knew,” Lulu admitted. Suzaku balked at her admission. “That was why she wanted to make the SAZ so that Nunnally and I could live in peace. That was why she allowed for us to meet alone and in private without _you_ there. The truth is, she didn’t want you to know either.”

“You're still lying!” he yelled. “Euphie, wouldn’t have…Euphie trusted me....”

“It wasn’t about trust, Suzaku. She was respecting my wishes for you to _never_ find out.”

A small silence filled the space between them. Suzaku was processing her words, but whatever he decided didn’t matter. Nunnally was locked inside and Lulu needed to get her out. Lulu needed to rescue her, but she was going to need help.

“Listen, Suzaku,” Lulu tried. “Nunnally is in danger. She has been kidnapped and behind this door. Help me save her! Help me get her out of harm’s way!”

“What?” he questioned.

“Let us call a truce, Suzaku. It can be temporary if you want, but help me save her. I know that together the both of us can do anything.”

“Don’t be foolish!” Suzaku yelled. “If you had just joined with Euphie back then we wouldn’t be here now!” Suzaku raised his gun again and pointed it at her. Lulu was starting to get aggravated with him. This was not the time for petty fights over things that had happened in the past.

“You want to shoot me, Suzkau?” Suzaku didn’t answer, but Lulu knew by the look in his eyes that he did. “Fine, go ahead, but make sure to hit this liquid Sakuradite!”

“You are a monster!” he bellowed.

“If you shoot me and my heart stops this will explode and I will take everything with me!”

“Lulu!” Suzaku screamed.

Lulu brought out her gun then and pointed it at him. She would shoot him if necessary. It didn’t matter that she loved him. She loved Nunnally more than her own life. Suzaku had just been a consolation. Silence reigned between them again.

Lulu should have been terrified. She should have been shaking as she pointed the gun at him, but she wasn’t even bothered. She had done what had needed to be done whether he accepted it or not. She loved him, yes, but she loved her younger sister more and that was why she had done what she had. After a moment, Lulu broke the silence.

“I did what was necessary, Suzaku,” she replied calmly.

“You killed your own sister! Euphie wanted to work with you! She wanted peace and you robbed her of her life!”

“I never meant for her to die. What happened was a miscalculation,” Lulu sighed. She was telling the truth. She had never wanted to hurt Euphie. She had almost been convinced to work alongside her sister to create the Special Administrative Zone, but then Lulu’s Geass went out of control. “She had to be stopped, Suzaku. She could have killed you too.”

Suzaku shook his head making his chestnut curls sway. He was angry and he had every right to be. Lulu had lied to him and played off his feelings for her. She hadn’t done it out of spite or out of a sick need to control him. Lulu had loved Suzaku Kururugi since they had met when they were kids. He had always protected her and took care of her and Nunnally when they had stayed with his family.

“If you had just given me time to....”

“No, she was deranged. She ordered the murder of hundreds of Japanese and even participated in the act herself. There was no way to stop her. I wish things were different, but they aren’t. I will have to carry the weight of Euphie’s death for the rest of my life. It is a burden I am willing to bare for the sake of the entire Japanese country.”

“SHUT UP!” Suzaku demanded. His gun was still aimed at her forehead. His hand was shaking slightly and his normally happy green eyes were pained and angry. Lulu had hoped, for both their sakes, that he would never had to find out she was Zero. “None of what you are doing is for Japan! You are doing this for your own selfish purpose, Lulu!”

“Fine, Suzaku, if that is what you wish,” she agreed. She would stop talking about Euphie. It hurt that he had been so close to her. It had wounded Lulu to see him choose Euphie over her and Nunnally when Nunnally was the one who truly needed him. It had pained her to see him fall in love with her beautiful and kind sister who wasn’t tainted by hatred and vengeance.

Lulu could feel the tension in the small cave again and the blood dripping down her face from where Suzaku had shot off her mask. The bomb strapped to her chest was heavy and light all at the same time. She would push the button if necessary, but only if it was necessary. Her gun was still raised and level with her beloved’s head. Lulu looked around to see that Kallen had fled the scene when she had found out that the “man” she trusted to save her people was actually a female.

The long silence seemed to stretch on forever, before something changed in Suzaku’s eyes. The pain was still present and the anger, but something else was mixed in. An emotion she had only seen on his face a couple other times when he had looked at her prior to Zero’s reveal. Lust.

Lulu didn’t understand why he was looking at her like that. The setting wasn’t right for a romantic rendezvous with the both of them currently holding guns aimed to kill. Lulu swallowed hard as he came forward with his gun still raised. Lulu knew by the determined set of his jaw that something was about to happen that even she hadn’t calculated. Her hand was shaking, she noticed, and she steadied it again and placed it between her and Suzaku.

“This is a precarious situation, Suzaku. We could shoot each other at any moment and you chose to move forward knowing that.” Suzaku didn’t respond as he slowly made his way towards her. She let out an annoyed sigh. “Really Suzaku, you don’t think I can shoot you, do you? I killed Clovis and I killed Euphie without a thought besides on how it would further my agenda. What makes you think that I won’t shoot you too?”

Suzaku stopped when he was right in front of her gun and she watched as his eyes hardened at her words. She knew bringing Euphie back into the mix might dissuade him from his next plan. The silence stretched again before the determination came back. He holstered his gun and Lulu started to panic internally then as he grabbed her wrist and forced her grip on her weapon to loosen.

“Suzaku, what are you doing?” Lulu questioned.

He took the gun from her hand and gave her a small smile. The same smile he had given her yesterday before he had to leave on the mission that led them here. He kept eye contact with her as he knelt down and placed the gun on the ground. Lulu thought about kneeing him in the face, but something told her that was a move he anticipated. The only thing she did move was her free hand to rest over the switch to the bomb.

When he rose and caught sight of her new position his smile faltered slightly, but didn’t fall. Lulu was shaking now. He was too close to her. She could feel the heat from his hand against her skin even though the sleeves of her Zero suit separated them. She could smell him. He smelt like sunshine and it was making her lose focus.

“Suzaku, stop this nonsense,” she ordered.

He finally spoke, “No, Lulu.”

“I’m serious, Suzaku. If you continue to provoke me I will have no choice, but to blow us both to hell,” she threatened.

“A royal princess should never swear.”

Lulu raised an eyebrow at him. She couldn’t believe what was coming out of his mouth. He was chastising her for a simple curse word. This was a new phenomenon. Suzaku usually loved it when she cursed, especially during intercourse. He loved watching her come undone from her persona of the well-behaved and responsible sibling.

He moved forward with his hand still on her wrist. She moved back. If he got too close he would kill them both and even though she had made the threat Lulu didn’t want to see him dead. When she had thought him dead when this whole horrid game began in Shinjuku she had been distraught. When she had realized he was to be executed for his nonexistent role in Clovis’ death, she had saved him and taken the rightful blame.

“Suzaku, stop!” she tried again.

He kept pushing her back making sure that he didn’t hit the switch. Lulu knew this for what it was. He was backing her into a corner and she was letting him. Her feelings for him were clouding her judgement and keeping her from doing what needed to be done. Suzaku was playing off her feelings and she was allowing him too. She was trapped and they both knew it.

In a moment of weakness, Lulu closed her eyes and Suzaku took that opportunity to grasp her other wrist and pull it away from the switch. He raised her hands above her head and transferred them both to one hand while he carefully removed the bomb from her chest. Once it was removed he weighed it in his hand before squeezing her wrists in a silent gesture to not move. The same gesture he used when they were having sex and he wanted her to stay still. His hand left and she had the urge to run and to get away before he could do what he was planning.

Suzaku moved away from her and she cracked her eyes open to see how far he was going to go. When it was obvious that he wanted the bomb as far away from her person as possible she stole a glance at her Knightmare Frame. If she could just get in she would be safe from Suzaku. He wouldn’t be able to get in without going for his own Lancelot. The odds were slim. He would catch her. His stamina had always been better than hers, but she was willing to take the risk if it meant getting away to see another day.

Suzaku was placing the bomb down when Lulu took off for her Knightmare. She was almost there when she was slammed to the ground. Her head smacked the rock of the cave hard and her vision swam. She was probably bleeding and had a concussion from the force of the blow. Suzaku didn’t seem to care for her pain as he leaned over her, caging her body between the cold floor and his warm hard body.

“You shouldn’t have run, Lulu,” he reprimanded.

“You could have cushioned my fall, Suzaku,” she snapped. “That hurt and I’m pretty sure I have a small concussion.”

“You will survive, Lulu. You can’t die yet. I won’t let you.”

Her eyes widened as she looked at him. He was deadly serious, that was obvious, and he wasn’t smiling anymore. It was like she had slapped him across the face by running. It wasn’t too far off the mark considering all she had done and all she still planned to do to get her revenge on her father. The man who had never once wondered why her mother was killed. The man who threw his two young children into the Japanese wilderness and left them to rot. The man who threatened Nunnally’s very existence.

Anger boiled in her throat as Suzaku looked down on her with annoyance. He was _annoyed_ with her. How about the fact that she was annoyed and _furious_ with him! He was the one who was always throwing himself into dangerous situations that could get him killed. That was way she had cast her Geass on him. He had been willing to die to keep her pinned down while the higher-ups sent a missile in their direction. She had _saved_ him! So, how dare he try to stop her from doing what she needed to do! She was going to change the world! She was going to make the world a safer and gentler place for her younger sister no matter the means necessary! She would not be a pawn! She would be the king that pawns followed!

“Release me!” she roared. She pushed at his chest with her hands and tried to get him off her. He didn’t move. He sighed at her actions as if she were a petulant child. No matter what she tried, however, he was a rock above her and that pissed her off even more. “Damn you! Damn you, Suzaku!”

“Lulu, watch your mouth,” Suzaku scolded again.

“Fuck you, Suzaku!” she screeched. “You are not innocent in this game! None of us are! You could have been by my side! We could have worked together to change the world and yet you betrayed me!”

Suzaku seemed shocked by her words. He raised an eyebrow at her and sighed as he shook his head. Lulu could see that he didn’t understand. He didn’t know how he had wounded her and helped her turn into the person lying beneath him. He was completely clueless. He was dense and that only infuriated her.

“I betrayed you,” he countered. “That’s rich coming from you, Lulu. Who is the one who became Zero in the first place, hmm? It wasn’t me. You did this! You betrayed our feelings for some stupid vendetta!”

“You chose her over me! You chose my father over me! Not once have you chosen me, Suzaku! So don’t claim it to be so!”

“What are you talking about? I have done everything…”

“Wrong,” she snarled. “You should have become Nunnally’s knight. She needed, no, needs you more than Euphie ever did. I needed you!”

Suzaku was shocked. He waited a moment as if he was contemplating her words before he asked, “Why didn’t you just ask, Lulu?”

She looked away from him as tears started to form in her eyes. She didn’t want him to see her cry. It was a weakness. A weakness she only showed to him. She hated it.

“Euphie summoned you and you left. You were in love with her. It was plain to see and it killed me. Then when you were announced as her Knight I knew that there was nothing left for me besides my revenge. I became dead inside and retreated farther into the darkness I had created in my heart. You had chosen her over Nunnally. You had chosen her over me. You were abandoning me just like everyone else.”

“Lulu…”

“I needed someone I could trust to protect my sister and I had wanted it…no…needed it to be you. I knew you would watch over her and protect her when I couldn’t, but it was a fool’s hope,” she continued.

“Lulu…I…”

“It’s too late now to change the past. I can’t change what I’ve done, who I’ve killed, or who I’ve hurt in my quest for revenge. I can’t atone for the fact that I took Euphie from you and you had to…to…settle for me.” Her voice was thick as she tried to hold back the tears. She couldn’t get emotional now and show him weakness. She couldn’t; because they were now adversaries. “I can’t change that I have loved you since before I knew what love was. I can’t change that I _am_ Zero. I can’t change that you are now my enemy.”

She lifted a hand to her eyes to try and hide her tears. The days of innocence between them were over now. She was broken, shattered, and the one person who could put her together hated her. The one person who could have saved Lulu from herself and her vendetta had betrayed her. There was no one to save Lulu while she tried to save her sister.

Silence stretched between them. Lulu didn’t know if he was processing her words or if he was ignoring them completely. All she could see was the pale skin of her own palm as she tried to hide her tears and quiet the sob that was bubbling in her throat. She had never wanted to hurt him. She had wanted to protect him too and, in doing so, had lost him forever. But, Lulu knew she was right. They couldn’t go back to what they once were. They couldn’t be the lovesick children from before. Everything was different. _They_ were different now.

“Lulu, look at me,” Suzaku ordered. She shook her head. “Look at me.”

Lulu shook her head again causing Suzaku to growl and grab her wrist again. He yanked it away from her face and his eyes widened when he saw her expression. Tears were pooling in her eyes and when she met his beautiful green irises they flowed down the side of her face. She had told the truth. She could have lied and that was why he had demanded to see her face. There were moments when he could read the lies on her, but this time she wasn’t lying and at this moment he knew she was serious.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright. Here we go. Code Geass belongs to its original owner. I own nothing! I fought with this chapter because I started it one way, but then I switched it and came up with something completely different! Enjoy!  
> ~BlainexKurtxLovex

The couple stared at each other for what seemed like forever. Lulu couldn’t stop crying and Suzaku couldn’t stop looking at her. Neither one spoke as the silence stretch between them. They were both lost in their own feelings and Lulu couldn’t read Suzaku at this moment. He looked so torn and if she hadn’t been crying she might have been laughing at the way he looked so wounded. Sure he was hurt and felt betrayed, but Lulu was _broken_. She was the one whose heart had been torn and shredded till all that remained was her vengeance. Her tears stopped. There was no time for tears. Nunnally was in danger and Suzaku was in her way.

“What will you do know, Suzaku?” Lulu prodded. Her voice was smooth and even. “What will you do with the criminal that is Zero now that you know it is me?”

Suzaku continued to stare at her. Lulu could almost see the thoughts turning in his head. She never understood why he tried to think sometimes. He was more of a man of action then a planner. It wasn’t that Suzaku wasn’t smart he just seemed to do the first thing that came to his mind and, so, Lulu didn’t understand why he wasn’t just doing what he originally planned in the first place.

“I really don’t have time to lay here and wait for you to come up with a plan, Suzaku. Nunnally is in danger and if you aren’t going to help me save her then I will do it on my own.”

“If I had chosen you would...would that have stopped you from all of this madness?” Suzaku questioned, ignoring her statement.

Lulu raised an eyebrow at him. She couldn’t believe he was asking that question now. It was too late. It was far too late to salvage what they once had. She was done with him. As much as she wanted and _needed_ him she couldn’t give in to him. Her heart was aching and there was a small throb in her head, but she pushed them both out of her mind.

“I don’t know. Nothing is for certain, Suzaku,” she answered.

Suzaku seemed to be contemplating her words. Lulu had to resist the urge to roll her eyes at him so she looked over his shoulder and way from his face. He was taking forever. Lulu was getting impatient. Whatever decision he was coming too would change their path forever. The only conclusion she could see, however, was for him to turn her in. Deep down she knew that he should let her go. He needed his closure after what she had done to Euphie.

“Lulu,” Suzaku called. Her gaze returned to his and her eyes widened at the look she found there. He looked determined, but also, happy. It was like he had the perfect solution to all of their problems. It worried her, because whatever brilliant idea he _thought_ he had was possibly going to _kill_ her.

“Whatever it is you’re thinking, no,” Lulu dismissed.

Suzaku let out a sigh, “You don’t know what it is I’m thinking, Lulu.”

“While that may be true, Suzaku, your plans rarely work,” she pointed out.

They both knew she was right. Suzaku never thought of every outcome. He was too much of an optimist to think of the consequences only the happy outcomes. He looked for the best in everyone, Zero excluded, and always wanted everyone to be happy.

Suzaku was also the type of person who didn’t want to burden anyone with his own problems, unless they badgered him like Lulu had done countless times to get him to open up. His morals and ideals, although commendable, weren’t necessarily realistic. That and his constant need to save everyone while trying to get himself killed didn’t help matters, so, whatever he was scheming had not been thought all the way through. Lulu knew it and so, if he was being honest which he wasn’t, did Suzaku.

A small pout formed on Suzaku’s face which _almost_ caused Lulu to give in. He looked like an adorable puppy when he pouted like that and he knew she couldn’t resist it, she rarely did. This time though was different and they both knew it. She had to stay firm otherwise he would sweep her up in his crazy plan and that _couldn’t_ happen. She had to be strong and resist him.

“That’s mean of you, Lulu.”

“I don’t mean to hurt your delicate sensibilities, Suzaku, but we both know it's the truth.” Suzaku dropped his pout and leaned closer to her. If Lulu had the option to move away she would have, but since he had yet to let her up from the stone floor there wasn’t far she could go. “Suzaku....”

He was right above her now and his breath was covering her face with his every breath. She closed her eyes and turned her head. She wouldn’t let him use her reactions to him against her. She would be strong and hold her head high like the princess she was… _oh...._

Suzaku’s lips were at her throat causing her eyes to fly open. They were gentle as he moved up her neck to right behind her ear. She bit her lip to suppress a moan as he trailed his nose down the same path his lips had made. Her hands went to his shoulders in a faint attempt to push him off her.

“Suzaku…stop....” she pleaded. Lulu didn’t want this from him. She didn’t want him to use their physical relationship with him to change her mind. They couldn’t go back. He couldn’t keep her. She knew that was what he wanted. Suzaku could be selfish at times and although Lulu wanted to keep him also this wasn’t the way to go about it. “We can’t....”

Suzaku pulled away from her and met her eyes. The lust was back as well as the determination. Lulu shivered. She didn’t know if it was from desire or from fear because, at this very moment, Lulu was both surprised and terrified. Lulu knew that Suzaku would never _physically_ hurt her, but the look he was giving her right now worried her.

“I won’t stop, Lulu, not this time,” Suzaku responded.

“Suzaku, you don’t realize....”

“You think you are so smart, Lulu,” Suzaku cut her off, “but you aren’t as smart as you think you are.”

She was really starting to get irritated that he kept cutting her off.

“You never wanted me to treat you like a princess when we were kids and I agreed. Then you became a young woman and I noticed that you were holding yourself away from those who cared about you. Shirley, Rivalz, and the others, they all care about you and then you betrayed them by becoming Zero.”

“Suzaku....”

“In Shinjuku, I almost died trying to protect you!” Suzaku shouted. “I knew you hated your father and the Britannian’s who held all the power, but I never thought you would become someone who....”

Lulu thought she understood where he was going with this speech, but she wasn’t really sure. It had been after she thought Suzaku dead and finding C.C. that she had become Zero. Shortly after gaining the power of Geass, Lulu fought her way through soliders and rebels to meet with Clovis secretly before shooting him dead. It wasn’t until Suzaku showed up at Ashford Academy that she almost bulked at completing what she started. Lulu needed to know who killed her mother and why her father had refused to find out who killed her.

“If I had known that you were going to turn into this…this monster…I would have found you and told you that I was alive.”

Lulu’s eyes widened. Suzaku was _blaming_ himself. Lulu was stunned. She had never really blamed him for becoming Zero not until after he fell in love with Euphie. Deep down Lulu had hoped that Suzaku would save her from herself and keep her from finishing what she had started. But, when he had agreed to be Euphie’s knight Lulu felt betrayed and only had her vengeance against her father to keep her going.

Lulu sighed, “When I became Zero, I had thought you had died. I was sick. You had died for me and it killed me to know that a greedy and prejudiced Britannian had murdered you.” Suzaku was silent so she continued. “Once I had Geass I ordered the entire team to kill themselves.”

“What?” Suzaku asked through clenched teeth.

“I don’t regret that. They murdered you in cold blood all due to the fact that you were trying to help me and because they lied to you. I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t stand his smug look as he shot you or the fact that he held power over you.”

“You killed them?”

“Yes, inadvertently. I was angry and hurt and I could still see your smiling face as you defied their orders, then the face of shock when they shot you,” she expressed. “I had nightmares for weeks after that.”

“And your brother?” Suzaku questioned.

“I wanted information on who killed my mother and I figured he would have an answer. He was surprised to see me. He said that the rest of the royal family thought Nunnally and I were dead after what happened to Japan when it became Area 11. He claimed he was happy to see me and asked me to come home. I declined,” Lulu answered. “Then, under the influence of Geass, he told me that Cornelia might know something about what happened to my mother. Then, I shot him.”

“It is sad to know that your family isn’t immune from your malice,” Suzaku pointed out. “Except Nunnally.”

“And Euphemia,” Lulu added.

“But you killed her!”

“On accident, Suzaku,” Lulu stated. She knew he wouldn’t believe her, but it was worth another try. She had never meant to kill Euphie the way that she had. “It is true that I snuck a gun into our private meeting with the means to kill her, but the real plan was for it to seem like she had shot me. I would have been a martyr, but she was convincing me to go through with the SAZ. I was going to give in to her request until I made a fatal mistake. I took off my mask and in a flippant remark I sent her on her Japanese killing spree. She fought my Geass for as long as she could and it was the first time I had ever seen anybody refuse Geass.”

“You shot her in front of me, Lulu,” Suzaku whispered.

“Logically, we both know that there was no way to stop her. My Geass was absolute once it took over. I did what was necessary, Suzaku,” Lulu said. “I was sick afterwards. I grieved for her when it was over. She was the only other person who I loved besides you and Nunnally.”

Suzaku was quiet as he looked at her. He seemed to be contemplating her words and weighing them. Lulu just watched him as he took in the information. Lulu hadn’t lied and he wondered if he believed her.

Lulu’s mind drifted back to Nunnally and the danger she was in. She was running out of time and being with Suzaku was making Lulu forget what she needed to do.

“You can hate me, Suzaku, I wouldn’t blame you. I hurt you and I get that, but right now Nunnally is trapped on the other side of those doors and I need to save her. I need to get her out of danger. I am begging you, Suzaku.”

Suzaku looked up at the doors before looking back at her. She felt fresh tears pooling in her eyes, but she held them back. Suzaku’s face softened before he shook his head. The softness in his eyes hardened and Lulu started to panic as he leaned forward.

“What are you…?” Lulu began but Suzaku silenced her with a rough kiss. Lulu whimpered in response, but refused to open up for him.

She knew deep down that they couldn’t do this type of thing anymore. They were adversaries and Suzaku could and probably would, considering who her father was, be accused of sleeping with the enemy. He would lose everything he had worked for and as much as Lulu hated the part of Suzaku that was loyal to her father she did not wish him to give up everything.

Suzaku growled in the back of his throat when she wouldn’t reciprocate. His hand came to clutch the back of her neck and tip her head up so he had more leverage. Lulu kept her mouth clamped shut and breathed through her nose. He growled again but chose to caress her jaw with his thumb in the hopes Lulu assumed, to get her to relax and open up. She didn’t. Suzaku pressed against her lips harder.

Lulu knew he was getting frustrated with her. She had never denied him before, but now she was thinking of his future. She was thinking about him while she denied him what he wanted. It was killing her inside because she _wanted_ to give in physically, but mentally she knew it wasn’t the right course of action.

Suzaku bit her bottom lip and Lulu lost focus as she gasped. His tongue plunged into her mouth and a moan tore from her throat. Suzaku devoured her mouth and it took every ounce of Lulu’s willpower to keep from giving in. Suzaku didn’t seem to mind as he explored her mouth like he hadn’t kissed her in years even though it had only been yesterday.

When neither could breathe, Suzaku pulled away. He was still close enough for them to be breathing the same air, but she couldn’t seem to pull in enough oxygen. She was dazed, but not completely gone. He was making a mistake and Lulu had to stop him before he lost everything.

“Suzaku, you aren’t thinking clearly!” she yelled. She hadn’t planned on screaming at him so she tried to breathe again before continuing. “We can’t do this. This isn’t logical now that you know my identity. We aren’t the same anymore, Suzaku. Please, just....”

“Just what, Lulu? Stop?” Suzaku cut her off again. He leaned down to place a gentler kiss on her lips. She almost gave in then, but turned her head away so that he couldn’t kiss her anymore. In retrospect it hadn’t been the smartest plan as he kissed along her jawline and down her throat.

“You need…need to stop…stop Suzaku,” Lulu panted out.

Lulu was starting to feel dizzy and her head was starting to throb. She hadn’t noticed the pain before when they had been fighting moments ago, but now that she wasn’t focused on yelling at him she felt it. The lack of oxygen in her lungs and the injury to her head was causing Lulu to react a lot slower than she wanted.

In response, Suzaku bit down on her collarbone. It was a firm pressure and Lulu knew it hadn’t broken her skin, but she would have a bruise later. Lulu was also vaguely aware that she gasped at the action, but she attributed it to her injuries and inebriated brain function.

Suzaku proceeded to lick and suck on the bite and Lulu tried weakly to push him off of her. Black spots were popping up in her vision and it was then that Lulu realized that she had hit her head harder than first thought. Lulu tried to keep her eyes open so that she could at least try to tell Suzaku that something was wrong. Lulu was going to pass out and she could feel her consciousness slipping away.

Lulu was honestly scared. If and when she lost consciousness she wouldn’t know what would happen. Lulu didn’t think that Suzaku would do anything to her once she was out, but that didn't stop her from internally freaking out about it. She was more afraid of being put in the Lancelot and taken before her father where she had no control.

“Suzaku, please,” Lulu pleaded. Suzaku pulled away from her to look into her violet eyes. “Something...is wrong I…I can’t....” Her vision was darkening and her eyelids felt heavy. Suzaku was trying to talk to her. She heard his voice, but not the words he was speaking. Lulu didn’t know if she would wake up after this. The darkness was thick in her mind and she was so tired.

“Lulu!”

Suzaku’s voice was loud and she knew he was calling for her. It was like she could feel him in her mind trying to wake her up. She was probably hallucinating, but she figured that if Suzaku was worried about her then she would be safe. It was a foolish notion, but she held onto it.

“I love you, Suzaku.”

The darkness came and Lulu’s eyes closed completely. She faintly heard Suzaku’s voice echoing in the cave before she completely succumbed to her fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What will Suzaku due with an unconscious Lulu? Will he turn her in? Will he keep her a secret? Who knows?...Oh wait, I do!  
> Please message, comment, or leave kudos! Keep on the lookout for Chapter Three!  
> ~BlainexKurtxLovex


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos everyone! Next chapter is here! Keep reviewing or pm me if you want! I don’t own Code Geass or any of their characters. Lelouch, Suzaku, and the others all belong to their respective creators.  
> Enjoy!  
> ~BlainexKurtxLovex

Lulu opened her eyes slowly because just the little bit of light she could discern was too bright currently. Her body felt heavy and her head still hurt, but her back was laying on something soft. It was nice. She wanted to curl up into a ball and lay there until the pain in her head went away.

Lulu’s eyes snapped open as she remembered where she had been before now. She had been on Kamine Island with Suzaku. He had found out her identity and they had fought. Lulu remembered hitting her head when Suzaku tackled her to the ground and how he had seemed so determined to convince her that whatever _stupid_ plan he had was _perfect_.

Lulu started to panic then. Where was she? Where was Suzaku? What had happened after she passed out? She tried to look around the room, but her head throbbed and she put her hands to her face to stop the world from spinning.

"What did that idiot do?” Lulu hissed.

Lulu heard a door open, but she didn’t look up. Her head was still spinning and she couldn’t seem to get it to stop. A male voice was talking to her, but she wasn’t listening. She was contemplating how to kill Suzaku Kururugi in the most creative way possible. Whatever he had done once she was unconscious was about to get the moron killed.

“Lelouchia vi Britannia,” a deeper male voice called out. Lulu’s thoughts stopped.

She raised her head from her hands and felt all of the anger at Suzaku fade away as she looked at the man before her. The long white hair that sat in rolls on his broad shoulders, the high cheekbones and stern mouth on a handsome face. The gray eyes that held nothing but contempt for her as he looked her over. The royal uniform of blue with medals adorning his breast and towering height all reminded her of her childhood.

Lulu slowly sat herself upright and clasped her hands in her lap so as not to lunge at him and attempt to strangle his large throat. “Father.”

The room was silent as violet eyes met gray. Lulu hated him. She hated him more that Suzaku and that was why she had done everything. As much as she hated her and Nunnally’s father she loved her sister more than anything. Nunnally was the only person left who was truly precious to her.

“Knight Kururugi, brought you from Kamine Island where he said you hit your head quite hard,” Charles li Britannia said.

“So Suzaku is now a knight then?” Lulu questioned and ignoring her father’s vague and telling explanation.

“Yes, he is to be the Knight of Seven after his capture of Zero,” her father answered. “It was his first request and his second was even more interesting.”

“I’m sure Suzaku is full of surprises.”

“Would you like to hear what the second request is, Zero?” Charles asked.

It was his subtle way of telling her that he knew she had been the one behind the rebellion. A small smirk turned up the corners of her mouth. Lulu clutched her hands together tighter as well.

“Please, enlighten me, father. What is it that Suzaku, in his infinite stupidity, asked for?”

A long silence followed. Lulu met and held her father’s gaze. He looked annoyed as if both Suzaku and herself were a thorn in his side. Lulu knew that she had been, but Suzaku had been the conqueror of Zero and seemed more inclined to be rewarded than most.

“I don’t understand why you always have to be an impertinent child, Lelouchia,” Charles snapped.

Lulu gave him an innocent smile then, “If my mother hadn’t been murdered than maybe I would have turned out to be the perfect pawn like Cornelia and Euphemia. I am not sorry to disappoint you, sir.”

Charles raised an eyebrow at her before he took a step forward. Lulu held her ground, but inside she was still panicking. This man could ruin everything and take everyone away from her. She wouldn’t let him take Nunnally. He could beat her, he could lock her away, but she would never let him take her sister from her.

“That _Eleven_ dared to ask for your freedom,” Charles revealed. Lulu raised an eyebrow at him. There was more she could tell.

“And?”

“He wants to marry you,” he replied

Lulu was shocked. Sure, Suzaku claimed to have a plan, but this was insane. Her father would never agree to such an arrangement. There was no alliance to be gained from it. He would have the rebel leader right under his nose knowing all his business. It would be a disadvantage.

“And what was your response?” she inquired.

“I have yet to decide your fate, my petulant daughter.”

“I see.”

Silence fell between them. Lulu looked away from her father and across the room. She didn’t want to meet his gaze. She didn’t want him to see any of her emotions in her eyes. It wouldn’t do her any good. The only way she figured this could work out was for her father to execute her, because she would never stop with her revenge.

The door opened again, but she refused to look at the new arrival. It wasn’t like she could see the door anyway with her father’s large girth blocking the way. Her father must have acknowledged the other person’s presence though because he was suddenly turning away from her and out of the room. Lulu still kept her eyes focused on the dried out plant on the table across the room.

“Lulu?” Suzaku called. His voice was soft. It was like he was talking to a loved one. Lulu knew that he didn’t truly love her anymore. There was no possible way he did after everything. “Lulu?”

Lulu sighed before she met his jade gaze, “What is it, Knight Kururugi?”

Suzaku’s eyes widened in shock. He must not have expected her father to tell her what they had discussed. He looked over his shoulder at the door where her father had left before returning his gaze to her.

“How are you feeling?” he asked. He crossed the room and sat in the chair next to her bed.

“Wonderful,” she answered sarcastically.

“Lulu, be serious,” Suzaku chastised.

Lulu met his gaze with a glare, “I have two words for you, Suzaku. Betrayed. Used.”

Suzaku reached for her hands, but Lulu pulled them out of his reach and swung her legs off the other side of the bed. She knew she wouldn’t be getting out of this room soon considering Suzaku was in the room and guards were probably placed outside the door. Neither could she use her Geass on Suzaku so she was stuck there.

“Lulu, you shouldn’t be moving around!”

Suzaku jumped up from his chair and ran to her side. He went to touch her shoulder, but Lulu slapped his hand away. She looked up at him through her bangs. If looks could kill he would have been dead long ago.

“Stop being stubborn, Lulu,” he ordered. He went to touch her again and she slapped his hand again. “You are being ridiculous.”

“I think I am well within my rights to be pissed at you, Kururugi,” Lulu snapped. She tried to stand and only lost her balance. Suzaku caught her and Lulu pushed him away so that she fell against the wall. “Don’t touch me.”

Suzaku ignored her and reached out for her again. Lulu slapped at him once more and he let out an irritated sigh. If she had more energy she would have smacked him hard across the face, but her innate strength was fading fast.

“Lulu, let me help you lay back down. You need to rest so that you can get your strength back.”

“Why? So that I have enough strength to muster the words ‘I do?’”

Suzaku sighed, “His Majesty told you then.”

“Only after he made it known that he knew I was Zero,” Lulu added.

Suzaku came to stand in front of her. He rested his hands on either side of her head. Lulu raised her head to meet his gaze as he loomed over her.

“I had to turn you in, Lulu. After everything you've done you need to take responsibility for your actions,” Suzaku stated.

Lulu started laughing. Suzaku raised an eyebrow at her. This only made her laugh harder and she didn’t know how he could be so righteous and judgmental towards her. She wasn’t the only one with blood on her hands and yet _she_ had to take responsibility for _her_ actions.

“Like how you did when you murdered your father?” she purred. Suzaku’s eyes widened before he clenched them tight. His whole body tensed and Lulu got sick satisfaction out of watching his pain at the moment. He was trying to control her fate. Hadn’t he figured it out yet that she didn’t like to be used or controlled? “Oh, that’s why you have a death wish, isn’t it? That is your repentance for what you did, but I took that away from you. So, Suzaku Kururugi, Son of Genbu Kururugi, what will you do now?”

“Why must you be like this, Lulu? Why must you hurt those around you?”

Lulu waited to answer his question until he opened his eyes to look at her. She gave him a wicked smile before she rested her hand against his cheek. “Have you seen who my father is, Suzaku? I learned from the best in that regard.”

Suzaku grabbed her wrist and yanked it away from his face. Suzaku pulled her closer and wrapped his other hand around her waist. Lulu squirmed in his grip, but he was stronger than her. Her strength was failing and her knees were weak.

“Release me, Suzaku!” Lulu yelled.

“No!” Suzaku screamed back. “You aren’t as strong as you fucking think you are, Lulu! Why can’t you just stop thinking and plotting for one damn second?”

Lulu stopped thrashing. The fact that Suzaku was swearing was a shock to her. He rarely cursed. She looked at Suzaku with wide eyes as her hands rested on his shoulders. He was shaking, but his eyes flashed with anger and frustration. He was trying to hold himself back from doing something drastic from what she could tell. He was tense and his arm around her waist tightened.

Lulu thought for a moment and concluded that Suzaku had lost it. Everything that had happened had finally gotten to him and Lulu was on the receiving end of his rage. As much as she deserved it she wasn’t just going to sit by and take it. Suzaku could be as righteous as he wanted, but as she had said earlier neither of them were innocent.

“Because, Suzaku,” Lulu began, “we royals have nothing better to do than plot and scheme. We use people as pawns and then when the pawns have fulfilled their purpose we dispose of them.”

Suzaku was silent a moment before he asked, “Was I nothing but a pawn to you, Lulu?”

Lulu raised an eyebrow at him. “What would you like me to say, Suzaku?”

“I want the truth, Lulu.”

Lulu let out a sigh. He was being so damn difficult. Why couldn’t he let her go? Why was he so determined to keep her by his side? He should have just turned her in and let fate take its course. She couldn’t handle his raging emotions any more than she could handle her own.

“You have always been so difficult, Suzaku. The fact that you still have faith in me is endearing,” Lulu replied.

“If I didn’t have faith in you, Lulu, you would be in a prison cell right now.”

Lulu laughed. She couldn’t help it. He thought he was _saving_ her. He was doing nothing more than delaying the inevitable. Her father would never agree to his request. She would be imprisoned or killed, either way they were not to be.

Suzaku raised an eyebrow at her. Lulu stopped laughing and rested her forehead against his shoulder to breathe. She noticed that he smelt just as he always did. Fresh dug earth and rain with just a bit of oil from the Lancelot. It made her head spin with lust, but she pushed it away as she moved away and dropped her hands from his shoulders.

“Lulu?” Suzaku asked.

“I’m tired, Suzaku. Can you help me back to the bed?” Lulu responded.

Suzaku nodded and picked her up bridal style. She squeaked, but didn’t say anything as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He turned and placed her on the bed gently. She released him and waited for him to move off of her, but he didn’t budge. His arms caged her against the bed just as he had on the island. Lulu should have been afraid then, but she wasn’t, which surprised her.

When her violet eyes met his emerald ones she saw genuine concern within them. Suzaku looked worried and scared for her. Lulu was shocked considering she had betrayed him and he had betrayed her. There was no reason for Suzaku to want to marry her. He already had what he wanted. He was a knight now. He required nothing else from her.

“Why would you ask my father for my hand, Suzaku? You can’t possibly think that you can still love me.”

Suzaku was quiet as he looked at her. His eyes never changed as he brought his hand up to cup her cheek. “Isn’t obvious?” Lulu shook her head. It obviously wasn’t otherwise she wouldn’t have asked the question in the first place. Suzaku sighed. “It’s because…because I love you, Lulu.”

Lulu’s eyes widened. He had to be lying. The two of them were being watched on cameras and this was the only way he could convince her father that he was serious. That had to be it. None of this was real. He was playing her, he had to be, but Suzaku wasn’t that intelligent. He never would have come up this ploy on his own. Lulu was being tested.

“You lie,” Lulu accused. “My father put you up to this in order to test me.”

“What?”

“You heard me!” she screamed. “This is all a farce! There is no way you love me after everything!”

“Lulu, please, just listen…” Suzaku pleaded.

“No!” Lulu yelled. “Get out, Suzaku! GET OUT!”

“I’m not leaving, Lulu. Not until you listen to me.”

“Why? So you can use sweet words to twist me into knots? So I beg you to save me from my evil father? I may be a royal princess, but I do _not_ need to be saved,” Lulu snarled. “I can handle my own affairs…”

Suzaku surged forward and kissed her, hard. Lulu pushed against him, but he held her arms above her head. Lulu thrashed under him in a vain attempt to get Suzaku off of her, but he straddled her hips and held her in place. Lulu was tired of feeling useless beneath him and bit his lip. He pulled away, panting as he moved to hold both of her wrists in one hand so that he could swipe at the blood sliding down his chin.

“Stop cutting me off when I am talking to you!”

“Then stop talking for once and just feel!” Suzaku bellowed back. “You don’t let yourself feel, Lulu. You think of it as a weakness and it is so damn irritating.”

“Where has having emotions gotten me, Suzaku?” Lulu inquired.

“They got you _me_ , Lulu. Isn’t that enough?”

Lulu fell silent. She didn’t know what to say. She had him, yes, but only after he had lost Euphie to Zero. She hadn’t been his first choice. Lulu was nothing but a replacement for her sister. The love Suzaku _thought_ he felt was just displaced. Lulu wasn’t as pure as Euphie and she knew Suzaku knew better.

“Suzaku, you are just projecting. You know you don’t really love me,” Lulu stated matter-of-factly.

“Excuse me?” Suzaku looked completely lost.

“I’m not Euphie, Suzaku. I’m not pure and good and sweet. I’m broken and beaten and…” Lulu sighed. “No matter what you tell yourself at night I am not the one you love.”

Suzaku’s eyes squeezed shut. It looked like he was fighting with himself and Lulu just laid there waiting. Lulu know she was right. Suzaku didn’t need her. The only one who needed her was Nunnally.

“Please leave, Suzaku,” Lulu said.

“You are so frustrating,” Suzaku pointed out.

Lulu rolled her eyes even though he couldn’t see it. “We have already covered that, Suzaku.”

Suzaku opened his eyes and looked at her. Lulu just waited for him to either say something or leave. She was done talking. She was done trying to make him understand. Lulu was finished with trying to keep her heart from breaking when she looked at him. The only man she had loved and he didn’t really love her in return. It was nothing more than a game that her father could manipulate.

“Go, Suzaku.”

Lulu’s tone left no more room for argument. Lulu looked away from him to show that he was dismissed. She couldn’t use her hands since they were still pinned above her head. Suzaku shook his head. Lulu didn’t know if it was defiance or if he was shaking his head in order to clear it. Lulu didn’t care. She wanted him to leave.

“You said you loved me, Lulu.” Suzaku’s hand released her wrists, but Lulu didn’t move them. “Back in the cave, do you remember?”

Lulu had to make him believe her next words otherwise he would never leave. Suzaku would never move on. He would hold onto her until they both took their last breath and Lulu refused to let that happen. She wanted him to be happy, but she knew he wouldn’t be happy with her. He would only ever see her as a murderer and traitor.

Lulu returned her gaze to his. “No, Suzaku Kururugi. I don’t remember much from before I blacked out. Everything I did back in that cave was to try and make you stay your hand.”

“Lulu, don’t say that,” Suzaku begged.

“You asked if I thought of you as a pawn, Suzaku…”

“Don’t…”

“You were the knight on the chessboard of rebellion. I manipulated you for my own gain just like everyone else…”

“Lulu, please, you don’t…”

“I loved you, once upon a time, yes. However, when it came down to it you were just a pawn to be used and discarded.”

“I don’t believe you,” Suzaku whispered.

“You…mean…nothing…to…me,” Lulu punctuated each word.

She didn’t mean it. Not really. She just needed to make him believe it. Every word that left her lips was killing her inside, but it needed to be done. Nothing could ever be the same. It was over.

Suzaku’s eyes started to fill with tears, but he blinked them back as he looked at her. She knew what her face looked like. She knew that her gaze was steady and her face was set. She knew she _looked_ sure, but inside she was falling apart.

Suzaku moved off of her and stood up. He looked away from her out the window for a moment before he looked back at her. Lulu still hadn’t moved. She wouldn’t until he left.

“I will change your mind, Lulu,” he affirmed. “You’re wrong about everything.” Lulu lay still. “We both know I loved Euphie. But, you’re wrong about you being a substitute. My feelings aren’t displaced and they aren’t projections. You are Lelouchia vi Britannia, my childhood friend, my best friend, my confidant, and my lover. You were…no…you _are_ someone I am willing to protect.”

Suzaku moved around the bed and towards the door. Lulu watched him go. Her heart was aching. It was like he had tied a noose around it and was pulling it along with him. Lulu didn’t know what she would do or say to get out of this. Maybe she would have to make a deal with the Devil.

“Once we are married everything will different. I'll show you.”

As he turned the knob on the door and prepared to leave, Lulu spoke, “I will never agree to marry you, Suzaku.”

Suzaku didn’t look back as he exited the room. She heard the turn of the lock before she rolled over on her side and curled into a ball. The tears fell, unbidden from her eyes, and onto the pillow. Nothing was how it should have been and the both of them were too damn stubborn to give in. Lulu wondered who would come out the victor in this messed up game between them.

After pulling the thin hospital blanket up to her chin in a small gesture of comfort, Lulu cried herself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Charles let them get married? Will Lulu be killed? Her memories erased? What will happen next?  
> You’ll just have to wait and see!  
> *I had a lot of fun with this chapter. I don’t know why. Maybe because I got to throw Charles in or because Suzaku gets confronted again about Euphie. No clue, but this chapter came a lot easier than the last one. See you next time!*  
> ~BlainexKurtxLovex


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains explicit language and sexual content! You have been warned!  
> I don’t own Code Geass. Everything belongs to the original creators!  
> Enjoy!  
> ~BlainexKurtxLovex

When Lulu woke later, the room was blanketed in darkness. Moonlight was streaming in from the window and covering the end of her bed. Something about the room was different, though. The window wasn’t where it had been earlier. Instead of being on her right it was on her left and bigger than it had been previously.

She had been moved while she slept. She didn’t remember anything except falling asleep. Now she was in an unknown location. She was somewhere deep within in the palace from the quiet footsteps milling around in the hallway.

Lulu sat up and moved to get out of bed to turn on the lights when suddenly she was bathed in brightness. Lulu shaded her eyes and hissed at the bright light. She waited for her eyes to adjust before lowering her eyes and looking around the room for the one who had turned on the lights. Lulu took in the expensive furniture and large room only for her eyes to rest on Suzaku.

“You’re awake,” he observed.

“Where am I?” she questioned.

Suzaku leaned against the wall and just looked at her. She raised an eyebrow at him and waited for him to speak. She _would_ have everything explained to her.

“My room,” Suzaku answered.

Lulu’s eyes narrowed as she looked at him. Something wasn’t right with him. Suzaku looked, for lack of a better word, dead. His eyes didn’t have the normal spark they usually did when they were talking or fighting. They were lifeless and it worried her. What would he do in this state?

Lulu threw off the covers and stood. She was no longer in her hospital gown, but black satin sleeping pants and a thin burgundy spaghetti strap top. Her hair spilled around her shoulders; loose and free. She preferred it tied back so that it was out of her way. Nunnally wouldn’t let her cut it and so she had kept it long.

“Did you change my clothes?” she inquired. He nodded and Lulu shivered at the thought of being unconscious and at his mercy. “What prompted the new room arrangement?”

Suzaku ignored her question as he pushed away from the wall and made his way towards her. Her heart jumped into her throat as she slowly maneuvered to put more distance between them. The dead look in his eyes and the tension in his shoulders terrified her more than when he had his gun pointed at her. This wasn’t the Suzaku she loved. This man was someone completely different.

When she moved away Suzaku stopped. He looked confused. It was if he wondered why she ran from him. Lulu understood. If this man had been _her_ Suzaku she would have stood her ground with the confidence that he wouldn’t lay a violent hand on her, but _this_ Suzaku was different. His eyes were cold and calculating and it seemed like they were sifting colors. It didn’t make any sense.

“Who are you?” she demanded.

“Lulu, what are you talking about. It’s me.” Suzaku started towards her again, but Lulu shook her head.

“You aren’t, Suzaku Kururugi,” she stated. He couldn’t be. Not with those eyes and that stance. Nothing was as it should be.

“You’re just tired, Lulu,” Suzaku said. He moved forward again until he was right in front of her. Lulu met his gaze and saw the grey mixed into his eyes. He rested a gentle hand on her cheek. “You need to rest.”

 “What kind of game is this?” Lulu wanted to know. “You are _not_ , Suzaku.”

Suzaku’s eyes narrowed and the grip on her cheek tightened. A wicked smile stretched across his face and Lulu felt the hair rise on the back of her neck. This definitely wasn’t Suzaku. He would never look at her like that. He would get angry and sad and irritated, but never cruel. The look Suzaku had now was not his.

Suzaku morphed before her eyes and grew taller. His hair grew longer and turned white. The face became older and his shoulders broader. Lulu held back her scream as her father replaced Suzaku. Her father sneered before throwing Lulu away from him and to the floor.

“You are a disgrace,” he spat. “You are nothing but a child.”

“And yet I am your child,” she replied.

“You may be my child, but I hold no love for you, Lelouchia.”

“I am well aware that all of your children are pawns, Father. Schneizal, as your first born son, is the only one that matters,” Lulu mocked. “My mother was just another in a long line of woman you seduced into your bed.”

“You know nothing, Lelouchia,” Charles expressed.

 Lulu started laughing then. She knew what she needed to know. Lulu knew that her father had done nothing to save her mother. He had allowed her to die and almost got Nunnally killed in the process. He was a monster. She was only following in his footsteps. Most parents would be proud.

“Your need for world domination is what has brought us here, that and my hatred of you. Everything you have done has been for your own selfishness. You have destroyed countries and countless lives all for the sake of being Emperor with your hundreds of bastard children.”

“And you have no selfish reasons for your actions, _Zero?_ ”

Lulu shook her head. “I did what I did for Nunnally and Suzaku. I wanted Nunnally to live in the world she imagined. I wanted her to be able to smile knowing that the world was a better place.” Lulu took a deep breath. “I wanted Suzaku to have a true home, a place where he could raise a family without the fear of persecution. I wanted him to stop trying to make up for things he couldn’t change in the past and to move on.”

“So, you defied me because of them, you say?” Lulu nodded. “And what about killing your own family? What about trying to tear down everything I have built?”

“You are selfish, vile, and cruel. You believe that the only nation fit to rule is your own. You don’t see the hurt you have caused because what you gain is greater than any one person’s pain. You want them to fear you so that you have absolute power,” Lulu hissed. “In order to defeat you, I had to become an even greater evil.”

Charles laughed. He leaned down so that he could loom over her sprawled form. His eyes glinted with arrogance and Lulu wanted to kill him right then. She didn’t see how she had come from a man with no mercy.

“And those you killed? Your brother and your sister? Cornelia and those in the rock slide?” Charles questioned. “You are no different from me, Lelouchia.”

“Change will never come about if you don’t make it happen and in order to make the change I had to get my hands dirty,” Lulu stated. “I’m not at fault. The world is.”

“And yet, you felt that you could keep the world you had created at Ashford with Suzaku and Nunnally. When you became Zero you had to lie to them to keep them. You couldn’t tell them the truth.”

“Shut up! I did what I had too!” Lulu screamed. “People lie to survive! No one is blameless!”

“You still lied, Lelouchia,” Charles chided. “You still kept them at a distance and wore a mask to keep your perfect little life.”

Lulu took another deep breath and pulled herself from the floor. Her father mirrored her movement and when they were both standing at their full height Lulu met his gaze again. He looked smug, as if he had won the argument. She wasn’t done yet and her mind had already put together that this whole conversation was a dream.

“Everyone knows how to use lies. In front of family, in front of friends, in front of society, everyone puts on a different mask. Is that a sin?” she questioned. “How many times did you lie to forward your agenda, Father? How many times did you use sweet words and promises to get what you wanted?”

“Like father like daughter, I suppose,” he responded.

Lulu shook her head and stepped towards him. He didn’t move. He just bowed his head too look at her. “Except, I am _nothing_ like you. I have sympathy and compassion. I love those around me and do what I can to _protect_ them. I don’t kill unless it has a purpose. You do it for the prestige and praise of the damn people of Britannia.”

It was silent between them for a moment. Lulu was trying to keep her breathing even as she held her father’s gaze. Suddenly, his hand was on the back of her head. His fingers threading through her long hair and she shivered. He had never been this intimate with her before or any of his other children. It was disturbing.

“You are just like your, mother,” Charles said on a whisper. “Beautiful, fierce, passionate, and full of conviction.”

“At least she gave me something before she died,” Lulu replied.

“You have her everything,” he continued. “Her eyes, her hair, her skin, her cheekbones, her slim figure, and her long legs. You are a spitting image of Marianne. But, you have my intelligence and need for control.”

His grip tightened on her head and pulled her closer. Lulu lashed out. She didn’t want to be anywhere near him and there was no reason he should even be touching her at all. He was the enemy. He was the one who had brought her world crashing down around her. Everything was his fault.

“What are you doing?” she exclaimed.

 His lips were on her forehead and a hand was on her waist. Her stomach turned as his nose brushed her temple. His thumb was rubbing circles into her hip and her stomach flipped. This was not how a father treated a daughter.

“Marianne,” her father sighed. “I will bring you back.”

Lulu felt the bile rising in her throat. He thought her to be her mother. Charles had lost it. Then she remembered that this _image_ wasn’t her father. This was all a dream and in order to get out of it she had to wake up. She had to break free and will herself awake or do something drastic.

Lulu didn’t get a chance to decide. Charles leaned down and kissed her.

 

Lulu sat straight up in bed. Her breathing labored and tears streaming down her cheeks. It had all been a dream, but her subconscious knew things she never could have dreamed. Her father never looked at her like that, but something far worse was going on. Her father was planning something and her mind was trying to tell her so.

The lamp next to her bed turned on and Lulu jumped. She hadn’t thought anyone was in the room with her, but there Suzaku sat keeping silent vigil over her. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, but the pajama pants he was wearing were dark green, like his eyes. Lulu stared at him as he rubbed his drowsy eyes and met hers. He saw her tears and stood up so that he could sit on the bed.

“Lulu, what happened?” Suzaku asked. Lulu flinched at the sincerity in his voice. It killed her. He needed to leave so that she could think. She couldn’t think with him next to her.

“It was just a nightmare, Suzaku. Go back to sleep,” she ordered.

“Lulu, you’re crying,” Suzaku observed. He cupped her face and wiped her tears away with his thumbs. Lulu relaxed at the touch and the warmth of his hands. “I’m right here, princess. I’ve got you.”

Lulu chuckled. It had been a very long time since he called her “princess.” She still hated it. She hated being related to the man who caused the world so much misery. She loathed being considered a Britannian who only cared about status. She hated that the term “princess” reminded her of the family who had abandoned her and her sister.

“Please, don’t call me that, Suzaku,” she demanded. She met his gaze and saw that he was smiling. His eyes were shining with adoration for her and it was just another stab to her heart. “What are you so happy about?”

“It’s just like when we were kids,” he answered. “You said the same thing back then in the same tone and everything. It made me happy.”

“You sentimental fool,” she scoffed. He laughed and rested his forehead against hers. His nose touched hers and she couldn’t help but smile. They sat in silence for a moment just enjoying each other’s company. “I wish we could go back in time.”

“Lulu, don’t ruin this, please,” he pleaded. “Right now, it’s just the two of us.”

“But…”

“No, Lulu. Right now, I am not a knight. You are not a princess. We are just two people who love each other.”

Lulu didn’t say anything as she met his eyes. They were blazing with resolve and shining in the lamplight. She felt the tears forming in her eyes at his belief that everything would be okay. Lulu couldn’t even think of her life without him.

“Okay,” she whispered.

Suzaku’s smiled widened before he leaned even further forward. His lips were only a breath away from hers and she felt her breath catch in her throat. He waited to see if she would protest before just brushing their lips together causing her to shiver.

“Good,” he said.

He pressed his lips against hers and this time, she kissed back. She needed him right now more than ever. She needed him to erase the nightmare from her mind. Lulu needed to be filled with Suzaku. She would think about the consequences later.

Suzaku added a bit more pressure before running his tongue along her bottom lip. Lulu opened up for him quickly and he plunged inside. She let out a moan to show her appreciation and he doubled his efforts. Lulu kissed back with just as much fervor, but let him set the pace. Right now, she didn’t want to be in control. Lulu wanted Suzaku to take charge so that she could free her mind of everything that had happened. The dream...Kanime Island...her father...the rebellion...all of it slipped away with each of Suzaku's kisses.

Lulu leaned back, forcing Suzaku to fall on her. He never broke contact as he quickly got on the bed and climbed on top of her. Suzaku nibbled on her lip in appreciation and Lulu let out another moan. When he pulled away from the kiss to breathe Lulu let out a whine. He chuckled before he bumped her chin with his nose.

Lulu leaned her head back and groaned while he kissed his way down her neck. Her breathing was ragged and her heart was pounding in her chest. The blood was rushing in her ears as she cradled the back of Suzaku’s head. Her pale fingers ran through his chocolate locks and Suzaku let out a growl.

Suzaku tore the bedsheet from her body and threw it to the floor before she felt his hands sliding up her thighs from beneath the gown she wore. His warm hands sent a burst of heat through her body straight to her sex and she had to bite her lip to keep from moaning out loud. Suzaku smirked against her skin as he bit at her exposed collarbone.

Lulu held his head tighter and tried to pull him up so that she could kiss him again. He didn’t budge and only moved his hands higher. His touch was gentle, teasing, and it was driving Lulu wild. Suzaku only ever treated her like she was his most prized possession. It seemed to him that if he pushed or grabbed too hard she would break, like a porcelain doll. Lulu hated it and loved it at the same time.

“Please, Suzaku,” she pleaded.

He looked up to meet her gaze and when she saw the lust in his eyes she shivered again. He wanted her and badly, but he would take it slow. He would take his time and torture her to ecstasy slowly. He wanted this moment to last as much as she did. Just in case it would be their last time.

Suzaku gave her a crooked smile as he continued to move his hands up her body. He rested them on her hips and Lulu whined. At the sound, Suzaku shuddered as he leaned up kissed her again. The kiss was slow and languid which made Lulu moan as she rested her hands on his face and tried to hold him there.

Lulu realized that she could kiss Suzaku for hours and never tire of it. His kisses always varied. One minute he could be sweet and sensual and then other times it was passionate and determined. The first had been the latter the one she was sharing with him now was the first and it made Lulu tremble.

Suzaku pulled away and Lulu groaned at the loss of his lips on hers. She glared up at him and he chuckled at her. In response, Lulu rolled her eyes and raised an eyebrow at him.

“What is it that you think is so funny?” Lulu demanded.

“Even in the throes of passion you make the most amusing faces,” Suzaku answered with a cocky smile. “It’s funny and adorable all at the same time.”

Lulu’s eye twitched at, what she assumed, was supposed to be a compliment. It only irritated her. She wanted him to move on and stop talking, but apparently that was asking way too much of him. Suzaku had never been a good multi-tasker, in her opinion.

Suzaku chuckled again and Lulu grit her teeth to keep from smacking him. Then she got an idea. If Suzaku wasn’t going to move on and finish what he started than she would just have to up the ante.

“Suzaku,” Lulu cooed.

Suzaku met her eyes after a couple more chuckles and then the chuckles stopped altogether. His pupils dilated as he stared at her. Lulu hoped, and by the look on Suzaku’s face, had succeed in smiling seductively at him. He swallowed hard as he watched Lulu raised herself on her elbows and started kissing down his throat.

“Lulu,” Suzaku ground out.

 Lulu smiled into his skin as she continued her way down to his collarbone. She placed a small kiss there then made her way back up to his ear. He didn’t seem to be paying attention as she scooted down the bed just a smidgen so that she could reach his growing erection. Lulu nipped at his ear and he shuddered.

“Suzaku,” she cooed again. “You seem to want to kill the mood. We can’t have that now can we?”

Lulu traced Suzaku’s erection through the fabric of his pajama pants lightly. He hissed as she kept up her ministrations. Lulu kissed her way back along his jaw still teasing him lightly until she was looking up at him. His eyes were lidded and his pupils were blown wide. Lulu could see his control fading and it was at that moment that she palmed his erection allowing the warmth from her hand to sear through the fabric.

“You started this, Suzaku, and you are taking too damn long to finish it.”

Suzaku moaned as she continued to palm his erection. He was rocking into her hand and when she pulled it away it was his turn to whine. Lulu let out a small chuckle and met his eyes again. He was gone and lost in pleasure. Lulu took that moment to push him back enough for her to crawl into his lap.

So much for letting go of my control, Lulu thought as she initiated a deep kiss. Suzaku’s hands were at her hips again, but they were quickly pulling the gown off and over her head only breaking the kiss long enough to remove it before they were kissing again. Suzaku’s hands moved to her breasts and she let out a groan when he started to knead them. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer.

He took that opportunity to suck one of them into this mouth while one of his hands played with the other. Lulu gasped at the feeling and felt her pussy quiver at the action. She dug her hands, once again, into this curly locks and held him as close as she could. He switched to the other nipple while his other hand slipped down her back and to her ass.

“Oh…Suzaku…” she moaned.

Suzaku pulled away and Lulu whimpered at the loss of contact. His other hand went to her ass as well and proceeded to knead her globes. Lulu moaned again and Suzaku kissed under her chin. Lulu could feel her juices sliding down her thighs and wondered when Suzaku would touch her where she so desperately needed it.

“Lu…lu,” Suzaku panted out.

“Suzaku, please,” she pleaded. “Fuck me. I need you inside me. Now.”

Suzaku stopped his ministrations and stilled. Lulu let out another whine before she ground her pussy against his erection. He groaned again and pushed her back onto the bed.

He got off quickly and took of his pants and underwear in one swift movement. Lulu let out a content sigh as she looked at the nine-inch cock standing proud between his legs in a nest of dark curls. Her mouth watered at the thought of it, once again, inside her. Suzaku crawled back over her and kissed her hard. His cock was resting against her thigh and she groaned at the feeling of it so close and yet so far from her sex.

“If you don’t hurry the fuck up, Suzaku, I swear…”

Suzaku pulled away and just stared at her. “Or what, Lulu?”

“Damn it, Suzaku…I need… _Oh_ …”

Suzaku pushed a finger inside her slowly making her arch off the bed. Finally, something was quenching the burning desire in her, but it wasn’t enough. She thrust back on the finger inside her and then onto the second one that entered her. She threw her head back and moaned.

Suzaku kissed her neck again as he continued to pump his fingers inside of her. He found the hickey he had started on her collarbone and sucked on it _hard_ only causing her to writhe more. He was marking her. Suzaku was telling the whole world whom she belonged to. It made her writhe and pant with arousal. He was killing her. She needed him to finish it. Lulu needed him inside of her. Pounding inside of her. Lulu need him to make her _feel_.

“Please,” she begged. “Please…Suzaku….”

Suzaku added a third and final finger at her urging and pushed her legs apart. Lulu didn’t even notice. She was lost in the pleasure and Lulu knew that she was flushed. She couldn’t seem to get enough air in her lungs as she gasped at the sensations wracking her body. Her back was in a perfect arch every time he hit or grazed that wonderful spot inside of her and if Lulu wasn't arched that she was pushing herself onto his fingers as if they were the only thing that mattered. Maybe they were.

Lulu whined when Suzaku removed his fingers. She had been close...so close...and she would have reached her peak if he hadn’t removed her only source of pleasure. Lulu wasn’t disappointed, however, when Suzaku thrust inside her in one swift movement.

“Fuck…Suzaku…”

Her eyes rolled back in her head as he began to thrust into her slowly and carefully. Lulu clenched her fists into the sheets and moaned every time Suzaku found that little bundle of nerves inside her that made her see stars.

“Lulu…” Suzaku panted out. He leaned forward and captured her lips again. As they kissed he picked up his pace and let out a silent gasp. She met him thrust for thrust and could feel herself getting closer to climax.

“Suzaku…”

Lulu wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close as his thrust became more sporadic. Lulu could tell he was close. He was panting against her lips and she couldn’t help, for the last and final time, to put her hands in his hair and drag her nails across his scalp. Suzaku speed up at the action and Lulu knew she was almost there.

“Suzaku…I’m…shit…I’m...,” she choked out.

“Me…too,” he groaned.

Suddenly, Suzaku pulled out and Lulu let out a whimper. She opened her eyes to find Suzaku with his eyes closed and his fingers wrapped around the base of his length. Her lust-filled brain couldn't figure out  _why_ he had denied them both the beautiful rapture of release. Her walls were gasping for him to fill her again and the tears of frustration were gathering at the corner of her eyes.

Suzaku released his length and looked into her eyes. He leaned down and kissed her tears away. "It's not over yet, Lulu."

"Suza...."

"Roll over, Lulu," Suzaku ordered. Lulu's breath hitched at the demand. "Roll over and present yourself to me."

Suzaku moved away from her and Lulu nodded. She slowly rolled over, due to the sore parts of her body, and lifted herself on her hands and knees. She dropped her head in submission and let out a needy whine _._

Suzaku spread her cheeks apart and let the cool air of the room tease her opening. Lulu shuddered at the feeling on her burning flesh and groaned. She sensed movement behind her before she felt his tongue lapping at her opening. Lulu screamed and threw her head back in ecstasy.

"I wanted to taste you, Lulu," Suzaku breathed against her opening before moving away.

Then his mouth was gone and Lulu could feel his erection at her entrance once more. He thrust into hard and Lulu couldn't help the choked gasp that escaped her mouth. He was _deep_ inside her now and with each drag of his length insider her Lulu edged closer to release.

His hand slithered into her hair and pulled it so her head snapped back. He kept thrusting, deeper and faster, into her and Lulu was afraid the climax to come would cause her to pass out. At the moment, though, she couldn't have cared less. All she was looking for was release. All she _needed_ was his seed inside her to remind her that she was still  _alive._  

Suzaku grazed her throat with his teeth before biting down hard on the juncture between her neck and collarbone. That shock of pain and pleasure combined with one more thrust from Suzaku caused Lulu to go over the edge. Lulu came. She saw white and clamped her walls down on Suzaku’s member. He groaned and spilled into her a couple thrusts later. They rode out their orgasm until the end and then Suzaku fell on top of her.

Lulu's arms collapsed under her as the white faded. Suzaku kissed her on the back of her neck after a moment and lifted himself off of her so that she could try to drag much needed air into her lungs which only made him chuckle. He pulled out of her and she groaned at the loss of him inside her. Lulu could feel his cum dripping out of her entrance, but instead of cleaning up she just wanted to sleep.

Suzaku fell down next to her on the bed and pulled her into his arms. He nuzzled his face into her hair and she had wrapped her arm around his waist. Suzaku pulled the blanket over them.

She was starting to fall asleep when Suzaku spoke. “I love you, Lulu.”

Lulu didn’t say anything as her eyes drifted shut. Just as she was about to drift off completely she thought she heard Suzaku say something else. It sounded a lot like:  forgive me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! That was a long and sexy chapter. Honestly, this chapter was the absolute hardest to write and considering this is my first fully developed intercourse scene I am quite proud of it.  
> I wonder what Suzaku could be talking about. Find out in the next chapter!  
> Comment and leave Kudos!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the final chapter of Broken Love and Betrayal Abound. I have had a great time writing it! Look for the Author’s Note at the end of this chapter.  
> ~BlainexKurtxLovex

When Lulu woke up the next morning she was alone. Suzaku was gone and from the cold spot next to her he had been for a long time. Lulu sat up and looked around the room for her hospital gown. She found it hanging on the chair where Suzaku usually sat. Lulu got up and quickly put the gown back on.

Once she was situated in bed again she thought about last night. Her mind was reeling. She had sex with Suzaku after everything. She had allowed him to convince her that everything was going to be alright when _nothing_ was going to be anywhere near alright.

Her life rested in the hands of her father and Suzaku. Her father could kill her and Suzaku could save her, keeping her in a cage to be observed and controlled. Lulu was furious.

Suzaku was a dead man.

There was a knock on the door to the room. Lulu didn’t reply and the person walked in without invitation. Lulu glanced at Suzaku to see that he was carrying a set of clothes before she looked away again. He didn’t say anything as he set the clothes on the bed.

“Change into this and then we’ll see about getting you out of this room and into somewhere less dreary,” Suzaku said.

“And if I refuse?” Lulu questioned. Her voice was cold and void of any emotion. Suzaku didn’t even flinch.

“Then I will carry you out of here in just that flimsy gown, Lulu,” Suzaku retorted. Lulu didn’t let the fear cross her face. “That wouldn’t do much good for your precious pride, now would it?”

Lulu looked at the clothes and started to get out of bed. Suzaku sat down and waited. Lulu stared at him. He couldn’t be seriously thinking she would change in front of him?

“Do you mind?” Lulu snapped.

“Nope, continue,” was his response.

“Not until you leave, Kururugi.” She crossed her arms and waited with her hip cocked out to the side. After last night, he wasn’t allowed to see any part of her body unless it was covered in clothing.

“I’m not going anywhere, Lulu. Change and be quick about it.”

Lulu raised her hands and pressed her fingers to her temples. She could feel the start of a headache forming already and she really didn’t want to deal with Suzaku right now. She wanted him to go. Lulu wanted him to just leave her to her own fate, but no, Suzaku had to be noble in everything _but_ this.

“It is grossly inappropriate, Knight Kururugi, to see a Britannian Princess unclothed,” Lulu pressed.

Suzaku smirked, “Last night seemed to be an exception then.”

Lulu took a deep breath to keep from blushing. He was trying to rile her up and he would if she let him. She couldn’t let him see her rattled or he would only keep using it against her.

“Last night was a mistake,” she replied.

Suzaku’s smirk dropped into a tight line. His body tensed for a moment before he took a deep breath and looked at her. She raised an eyebrow in challenge. There was nothing he could say that would change her mind. It had been a mistake and one she was not willing to repeat.

“I don’t think it was,” Suzaku said.

Lulu let out a sigh. “Of course you don’t, Suzaku. You think that once I accept my feelings for you that everything will be fine. I will be willing to marry you and allow you to protect me from my father. The sentiment, Suzaku, is appreciated, but not needed or wanted. I can tell you that this isn’t how any of your plan is going to play out. I know that better than you do because I know my father.”

Suzaku was silent. A small knowing smile was pulling across his face and she felt her blood run cold.

“No…he didn’t…he couldn’t have….” Lulu stuttered out.

“I wasn’t going to tell you until we were out of this room,” Suzaku replied. “I wanted you to be somewhere more comfortable. I felt you would be more receptive if you had some semblance of freedom and control.”

“This is impossible.”

She heard Suzaku get up from his seat and move over to her. He pulled her against his chest into a hug and Lulu didn’t fight him for a moment. She was too stunned by Suzaku’s news to even think straight.

“His majesty’s motives are entirely selfish, but mine aren’t, Lulu. I _want_ to marry you. I want to make you happy.”

Lulu felt like she couldn’t breathe. All the air had left her lungs and now she was shaking. She wasn’t sure if it was from shock or from rage. Once her mind had cleared, Lulu decided she was definitely angry. She was angry at her father for using her feelings, she was upset at Suzaku for trying to save her, and she was pissed off at herself for allowing it to happen at all. She hadn’t calculated this outcome because it never seemed to be a logical solution for her father to take.

“I won’t marry you, Suzaku,” she whispered.

No matter how much she loved him. No matter how much she had always wanted to hear those words after she had changed the world, she couldn’t marry him. This was not out of his love for her, even if that was what Suzaku told himself. This was about her father’s control. Charles would be able to keep her from completing her mission and Suzaku would be her guard dog. Suzaku would be loyal to the crown and force her to be as well.

Suzaku had never understood why she had done what she had. He had never understood why and how her father had conquered the world either. All Suzaku saw was the world as a mess and naively concluded that the only way to change it, even a little, was for him to try and influence it from the inside. He planned to become the Knight of One and choose Japan as his to protect. The plan sounded good in theory, but not in practice since Charles would still be allowed a say in what happened to the country. Lulu knew that Suzaku’s plan wouldn’t work, but Suzaku was stubborn and wouldn’t let anything sway him from his decision.

She pulled away from him and he let her go. She crossed the room to get away from him. She needed to think. Lulu needed to find a way out of this or she was going to break. That was what Charles wanted to accomplish. He wanted to break her and keep her from completing what she started because without her the rebellion would fall.

“Unfortunately, Lulu, you won’t have a choice,” Suzaku revealed. “If you don’t marry me than nothing awaits you but death itself.”

Lulu laughed, “He _would_ threaten to kill me. I am a threat and, just like every threat to his regime, I need to be eradicated.”

“So you would choose death over a life with me?” Suzaku asked. His voice was strangled. It was like he was choking on the words; as if the very thought of her death sickened him. Suzaku, of all people, knew the world could be a cruel and miserable place, but still chose to see the good in a world full of tyrants and bureaucrats.

“Yes,” she answered. “I could find a way to use your affections to my advantage if I truly wanted to live, but I don’t think I could. Death, although problematic, would at least ensure that Zero became a martyr. Someone would take up my cause.”

“Your rebellion and revenge are more important than your own happiness?”

Lulu met his stunned gaze with her own. Steady amethyst eyes met stunned emerald as she answered. “Yes.”

Suzaku shook off his surprise and moved towards her. This time, instead of backing away, Lulu held her stance. She would not let him sway her this time. There was no way anything would change her mind about this. Lulu would rather die, like when she had faced her sister in the SAZ, than allow her father to rule without question any longer.

“You would kill our child, as well?” Suzaku questioned.

Lulu’s eyes widened, “What are you talking about? We don’t have a child.”

Suzaku moved forward just a fraction and rested a hand on her stomach. He looked pained, but Lulu wasn’t grasping his insane suggestion. Sure, they had intercourse, but there was no guarantee that she was pregnant.

“I didn’t want to do it, you know,” Suzaku started. “The Emperor said that he had a drug administered to you while you slept.” Lulu shook her head. Suzaku wasn’t this desperate, he couldn’t be. “He assured me it would work. He swore by it since he had used it numerous times with his wives.”

Lulu looked down at the hand on her stomach and tried to let out a scream, but it came out more like a strangled gasp. She took hold of his wrist and threw it away from her, like it burned her to have him touch her. Her mind was reeling and she moved away to brace herself against the wall.

Lulu wanted to cry and scream, but knew it would do no good. It would only make Suzaku want to comfort her and she didn’t want to even look at him. He had allowed himself to be used by her father. He was weak and hoped that by this new information she would change her mind.

Lulu had thought she was betrayed before…she had been horribly mistaken.

Nothing was a bigger betrayal than having your own body used against you. Emotionally betrayed had been bad enough in the beginning, but nothing wounded the heart more than knowing that you were nothing more than a vessel for offspring. Her mother had allowed it to happen to her and Suzaku hoped, believed, that Lulu would choose to live to save her child. _Their_ child.

Suzaku’s voice echoed in her head from last night. Now she knew what he had been asking her to forgive. Now she knew why he had made her face away from him during their final moments of intercourse. He had done the one thing that would ensure she hated him. He had tricked and used her. She wasn’t anything more than a pawn.

It was ironic, really.

The White Knight had dethroned and defiled the Black Queen.

“Get out,” Lulu ordered. Suzaku stepped towards her again, but Lulu moved farther away from him. “I can’t even look at you right now.”

“Lulu, I did this for us! I did this so you could live!” Suzaku defended.

Lulu couldn’t believe that Suzaku was _this_ naive. She knew that he was, but she never expected that he would actually think he was saving her. The love she felt for him was quickly turning into hatred. Everything was going wrong.

“Please, just go!” Lulu yelled.

“Listen to me, Lulu….” Suzaku began, but Lulu cut him off.

“No, you listen to me, Suzaku Kururugi! I never expected you to do something like _this!_ I never thought you would sink this _low_ in order to keep me! You want me in a gilded cage, Suzaku! You want me trapped and isolated!”

“No, I never wanted that!” Suzaku defended. “I have only ever wanted you! I only ever wanted to be with you!”

Lulu started to laugh. He was so _stupid_ and _ignorant_ of the damage he had caused her. She would lose everything because of what he had done. She would lose her rebellion, the fight against her father, her freedom, and her sister. Lulu would lose _everything_.

“Your ignorance is painful, Suzaku,” Lulu deadpanned. “You don’t see what you have done and you have the _audacity_ to believe that what you have done is the right choice. You truly are an optimistic idiot.”

“I did this to protect you!”

Lulu shook her head. “All you have done is ruined me. Living a life at the hands of someone else, not to mention by the twisted grace of one’s enemy, isn’t living. Once, I wanted nothing more than to marry and have children with you, but on my own terms. Now, this child is nothing but a curse. A curse placed on me by my own father and the man I once loved.”

“Lulu, don’t say that, please,” Suzaku begged. “We can make this work.”

Lulu met his hopeful gaze before letting out a defeated sigh. “No, Suzaku, we can’t. It’s over. We have both lost.”

Suzaku looked at her and she watched as the hope shifted to pain on his face, but she wouldn’t let that change her mind. She didn’t want to kill the child within her nor did she truthfully want to die, but her heart hurt. Her heart was broken and no child could fix the hatred that was boiling inside her.

The silence that stretched between them was thick. Lulu was trying not to break down into hysterics. She couldn’t show anymore weakness with Suzaku in the room. He would exploit it to sway her. He would use it against her. He would make her promises that he couldn’t keep.

“I’ll be back,” Suzaku said suddenly.

“I won’t hold my breath,” Lulu snapped.

Suzaku left the room and closed the door firmly behind him. Lulu took a breath in order to keep the tears in. She was falling apart at the seams. Everything had gone wrong that moment Suzaku found her on Kamine Island.

Was this how everything was supposed to end up? Was she meant to end up at the hands of her arch enemy? Hadn’t she accounted far enough ahead that she could have avoided all of this disaster?

Apparently not, and now she was pregnant with Suzaku’s child and her father controlled what happened next. Nothing was as it should have been and now she would have to make a decision. Lulu would have to choose what happened next before it was taken from her. But, what were her options?

Lulu tried to think of some sort of answer, but she couldn’t come up with anything. She was truly floundering for the first time in her life and it was eating her up inside. She couldn’t find a way out of this. She couldn’t find a way to escape Suzaku or her father. Maybe, that was because there was no escape to begin with. Lulu didn’t want to give up, that wasn’t in her nature, but she did know when she was beaten.

Lulu could buy herself time until an opportune moment came around, but that wouldn’t be too likely with her father holding all the cards. After today, Suzaku wouldn’t let her out of his sight. He would be too worried she would make a rash decision and do something drastic. Lulu may have a thing for the dramatic, but she sure as hell wouldn’t kill herself to escape either of her enemies. That was weakness and Lulu was anything but weak.

At least, that’s what she kept telling herself.

Suddenly, the door opened again and Charles came into the room with Suzaku close behind. Lulu schooled her features and waited for what Charles would decide. Lulu had no idea how this was going to go and as far as she was concerned death was the most viable option, but Charles had surprised her once. He was sure to do it again.

“Knight Kururugi, hold her down,” Charles ordered.

Lulu’s eyes widened as Suzaku came around her father and towards her. Lulu tried not to panic, but the look of pure determination on Suzaku’s face scared the hell out of her. He approached her like someone would a cornered wild animal. He was cautious and careful not to make any sudden movements that would cause her to lash out. Lulu was not about to be taken so easily. She would fight just as she had on Kamine Island. She would use everything she had to keep herself from falling any further into their clutches.

Suzaku reached for her, but Lulu slapped his hand away. He rolled his eyes at her antics, but Lulu kept her face schooled in a unwavering expression. She would not let them see how truly terrified she was at being cornered. Suzaku tried to reach for her again, but Lulu ducked under his arm and around him. Charles let out an exasperated sigh from behind them. Lulu wanted to glare at him, but she kept her gaze focused solely on Suzaku and his next move.

“You are delaying the inevitable, Lelouchia,” Charles chided. “Now be a good girl and let us get on with it.”

Lulu didn’t take her eyes off Suzaku as she spoke, “No. I will not sit by while you strip my life from me.”

“We aren’t stripping you of anything, child. We are giving you a new life. A life where you can be, should I say, _happy_ ,” Charles sneered.

“Taking away my choices, my options, seems like stripping my life away, if you ask me,” Lulu snapped back.

“Lulu, please, stop fighting,” Suzaku pleaded.

He reached for her again and this time he caught her arm. Lulu slapped him hard across the face and watched the cacophony of emotions that had once been in his jade eyes disappear. He looked back at her with a blank empty expression.

“Never,” Lulu scoffed.

Suzaku maneuvered her to turn around so he could get both of her wrists in one of his larger ones. He forced her to move over to the bed and then to get on her knees. Lulu struggled the entire way, but Suzaku was stronger and he had more to gain in this little battle. Once she was on her knees he pulled her flush against his chest and used his other hand to cover her eye with her Geass.

It was this one motion that allowed the entirety of the situation to become clear to her. She struggled harder and could feel a tear slipping down her face. Charles was going to “change” her mind. He was going to erase her true feelings and Suzaku, the bastard, was going to _let_ him.

“No!” she screamed. She continued to struggle, but it only made Suzaku tighten his hold on her. His normally gentle fingers were firm on her face while his other hand kept her from lashing out. He was perched on the back of her legs so she couldn’t more. She was completely at the mercy of the two men and she was frightened.

Charles leaned over her and looked directly into her violet eye. His eyes shone red with Geass and she felt her heart drop to the floor. He smiled cruelly at her as he spoke his next words.

“You are no longer Zero of the Rebellion nor are you Lelouchia Lamperouge. You are Lelouchia vi Britannia and you are a loyal princess to the crown. You are ecstatic to be marrying the Knight of Seven, Suzaku Kururugi, and carrying his offspring because he is the love of your life. You will conduct yourself as is appropriate and be an ally against the rebellion as its tactician.”

Lulu could feel the change of her mind and she screamed as everything she knew was rearranged for their benefit. She could feel her eyes closing and her mind going blank. Suzaku released her face and pulled her against him in a hug. She felt his lips grace her cheek, but she didn’t respond. Her body felt light and she slumped against him.

“I love you, Lulu. Forgive me,” Suzaku whispered.

Lulu’s eyes closed as her consciousness slipped away. At the very least, he would never hear those words from her as she once was, as the girl he had fallen in love with, ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, that is a wrap! This story has come to a close. I am one of those people who has a limit on how many chapters there are to a story if I feel that particular story has come to an end. Do not fret, however, for there is a second installment for this characters and the series Broken and Betrayed entitled:  
> Happiness is the Illusion  
> Thank you for coming on this journey with me and I hope you stay for the rest! Comment and leave Kudos! Bookmark and Subscribe!   
> Lots of Love ~BlainexKurtxLovex


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